As a person who loves to write, who wants to write about everything that goes on in his/her mind, it can be very frustrating when you can’t write to save your own life.
I, for one, am going through this phase right now. They have a term for it. Writer’s Block. A condition where a writer cannot write for squat. In fact, as I write this, I am wondering if it is worth all the trouble. Worth all the typing and the thinking and the editing and everything else. I am thinking if anyone will actually relate to where I am, as a writer, right now.
After long hours of looking for inspiration in every nook and corner of every aspect of my life, I reached a conclusion. That I am not a writer. No. I am just a whiny teenager with a blog who wants the world to know what he thinks. Does that disqualify me from having writer’s block?
I am confused. Not only about what to write. But about everything around me. I am really happy. And, still, I can’t write.
The sunrise is not beautiful/inspirational anymore. It just signifies another day I need to get through so I can witness the next one and still feel the same. The sunset is the end of another not-so-fulfilling day. It’s just……not good anymore. Old friends are not good ones, anymore. New friends don’t know anything about my old ones. There are so many lies and so many people that it’s hard to keep track of all of them now. The day itself is long. The nights, sleepless. It’s not insomnia. It’s claustrophobia. It’s needing to open up but not being able to. It’s wanting to sing your heart out but realizing it’s not the time for that. It’s hoping for everything but knowing that it’s a bit of a far stretch. It’s being happy one minute and depressed the next. It’s everything I don’t want my night to be. But it is.
You know what? You don’t have to be a “writer” to have writer’s block. You can be any fucking body on the planet and still go through this. You can want to write about anything from movies to food to fiction to essays and still have to face this.
Bryan Cranston, in that 2013 short movie, portrays beautifully what every writer goes through at least once.
But what do I know.
I am just a whiny teenager.
With a Blog.
And maybe this is just a phase.
Or maybe, it’s a Writer’s Block.