It was a fairly monotonous day up until that point. I woke up, took a bath, had some breakfast, left for school and returned. I texted Denise, my girlfriend. She sounded upset and shaken. At least that’s what it felt like when I read her replies. I asked what was up.
“Maddy is dead. She killed herself” said Denise.
I won’t tell you how Maddy was the best friend I ever had or how I’ll miss her. Because I won’t. I won’t miss her because I didn’t know her. At all. But I was shaken too. Denise told me how Maddy was with her just a couple of days back and how they smiled and enjoyed.
It made me wonder. Made me think about all the people I was rude to today. Made me feel guilty about all the times I hurt somebody. Made me feel sorry for those who think they’re alone.
I didn’t know Maddy. But there are people who did know her and there are people who did care. There are people who miss her. There are people who regret what she did. There are people who will miss her because she was a part of their lives.
I checked out her facebook when I reached home. There were no sad posts or any rants or anything that’d show that she was going through something.
Doesn’t it make you think about all the realities we hide and all the illusions we live?
Doesn’t it make you believe that everyone is trying to be what they are not?
Doesn’t it make you realize that you don’t really know anyone in this whole freaking world?!
I mean, come on! She was smiling and laughing and alive just two days ago! And now she is gone.
It’s really ironic how I, a guy who barely knew her, am so shaken by this. When in reality I shouldn’t even think about her.
I tried catching some sleep. I can’t sleep.
It haunts me. How everything in this world is not what it seems to be.
It scares me. How all we’ve ever know about the world is so far from the truth.
It’s like the world is showing us a new face as we grow up.
It’s the real world.
It’s mean. It’s selfish. It’s cynical. It’s pessimistic.
The real world is grinning at us.
And it says “welcome”.